Knight fall

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Mountain called us to visit was our first encounter,

Attitude for the disability community I saw your heart with wings,

Try these adventures you so often encouraged me to do,

Time and time again we made great memories together.


Ha Ling mountain we made history together,

And it remained to be one of our most memorable times,

Mountains, valleys, rivers, ski hills of adventures we often met,

End came too soon when more adventures we still need,

Rest in peace my old friend you’ll be greatly missed.


I am so glad you were in my life, encouraged me time and time again. I feel pain and emptiness in my chest, tears like the fall run to no end. Today after much sorrow and I looked into the sky, I hope you’ll leave me a spot on your hiking team when we meet again, as I know you are already planning for your new adventure in heaven.

19th quad birthday

I am, most of the times, a happy wheelers. I have always had a big party to celebrate each year, on my accident date, that I’m alive and great people around me.

Thanks to COVID, first time in over 10 years, I did not have a party to celebrate, thus resulted me having the worst day ever… not knowingly.

I woke up in extreme back pain in the morning, and my son said hello to me with a face kick, so I am officially awaken at 4:06 am. As I listen to the melody or my husband and son’s operatic singing, I started to ponder… I have a great life right here. For some reason, it just went down hill from there… I argued with my hubby, my mom and just a dark cloud following me around, which is really sad.

Then I realized, it’s because I didn’t have a party… I realized the importance of celebration of “what would be the worse day of your life”… it is to rejuvenate, recharge and boost our battery for the coming year. THAT’S RIGHT! I missed my reboot.

The point of this is… if we turn a bad situation into good by simply changing our thoughts, and celebrate of course, then we live a better life over all.

Note to self, must host a 20th quad birthday party. You, yes you, put it in your calendar August 31, 2021, party at my pad!

the big 40

Yes, I officially hit the big four oh today and I feel content with life.  I never thought about hitting this magical number so soon and now it’s here, I feel a sense of peace and serenity.

I was born on a beautiful rainy day. 40 years later, a crack of thunder and I hear the slow raining drops starting to fall as if the sky is celebrating for me.

A quick look back in the last fourth year… I was a wild child surrounded by love and care from my grandparents; moved back with my parents at age of 7 only to say goodbye to my dad a year later as he left China to study in the USA; moved to Canada to reunit with my dad at age of 12; I got my first job at age of 16 working at KFC and  CompuSmart; 18 I moved out on my own and paid for my own schooling; 23 had my car accident; 24 returned to U of A and 26 got my degree; 27 started working as a quadriolegic; 30 worked for DC Comics; 34 found freedom and a stronger self ; 36 ascended Ha Ling Mountain; 38 became the first quadriplegic  to wheel on the Great Wall of China and met my future husband; 39 did my first TedX and had a baby named Alexander Thor.. and now I’m 40….

Overall, I had a fantastic 40 years and I feel more pumped than ever to continue to redefine impossible, quadriplegic and now as a wife and mother… cheers for the next 40 years.

Hear Me World – Chinese TV show

My latest appearance on Chinese TV show. It was such a wonderful experience and I had the opportunity to meet some coolest Chinese people in the world.  Like Juan from Lancaster, Bruce from Scotland, Sofie, Bridget, Lui Fei, and so many more! My Chinese may not have been the best but I’m grateful for this show to give me the opportunity to be amongst so many inspiring Chinese people and to encourage people with disability from all over the world to “not give up and keep fighting for the future you want!”

Article (in Chinese) to intro the TV show.

Meeting a Dragon

Quote

-Written by MightyKuen        -Edited by Sandra M

For 16 years now, I have embraced life as a quadriplegic. I often felt like I needed to be an armored knight, and my courage and determination is my armor to protect me from possible prejudice, inaccessibility, and frustrations.  These are the little “demons” I fight in life.

So where did I get the idea of wanting to face a dragon? It all started long long time ago in a land far far away… actually, it was about 6 years ago and in China… my mom told me of a heart-wrenching tale. While my parents were visiting China they encountered a person, much like myself, but no wheelchair, no support and sat on a board with tiny little wheels.  It brought tears to their eyes.  This made me feel sad, and at the same time how lucky to be living in a supportive community and surrounded by open minded and giving people.  After doing some research, I found that the Chinese government has already started making changes, and these changes were accelerated after the Beijing Paralympics.  However, due to the sheer number of registered people with disability (90 million and counting), people are not able to enjoy much of these changes due to a few key factors. Rural communities face the greatest challenges, sometimes they lack the infrastructures necessary to relay information, plus the lack of education affects the government’s effort to convey information, that they are making changes in the community. The second reason is the mindset of people, low self-esteem, and lack of positive outlook. From that point on, I felt a strong urge to help my fellow kinsmen, by using my experiences in Canada, to empower them. Show people there is hope and possibility for their own future.  And in order to do this, I must face a Chinese dragon.

I worked hard to prepare myself.  I started with attending The Steadward Center for Personal Achievement at the University of Alberta to help with strengthening my muscles.  I visited a sports injury doctor named Dr. Gregg to deal with injuries from a fall that I had the previous year.  Next, I looked for training grounds.  I trained on a daily basis on different hills in Edmonton, ramps in builds, in a studio and home for cardio to compliment my strength training.  And finally, to relax and get the knots out of my muscle at the Bethune Medical Center for acupuncture, massage, and cupping.  I did all these preparations between surgeries, doctor visits and frequent autonomic dysreflexia attacks.  People kept asking me “Aren’t you afraid?” “You are sick, why don’t you rest?” “You are injured, why don’t you cancel the event?” and my response is simple: “I only give myself reasons to move forward and never excuses to stop.” After many blisters, modified techniques, positive self-talk and planning out my travel path… at last, I was ready to meet my “dragon” in real life and I headed to China.

 

September 26th started with a loud crash, lighting and rain storm in the early morning, and I didn’t sleep well the night before due to health issues. My friends were worried and asked me if I wanted to cancel the event, but I held out hope that the weather would clear up, and I would feel better soon. Around 6 am, suddenly the rain went from pouring to just a sprinkle, but still, I held out hope to complete the journey, within hours, I was on my way with family and friends heading towards my dragon.  As the bus slowly moved us through the busy morning traffic towards my sleeping dragon in the mountains, I was sharpening my swords and putting on my armor in my mind to mentally prepared for the ultimate battle.

The rain had stopped as the bus pulled into the parking area, I could see the shadow of the “dragon” wrapping around the mountaintop.  In order to ensure the success of my journey, my boyfriend and cousins became my knight and shiny armors took on the responsibility of pushing me about 2 KM on a nicely paved road all the way up to the entrance to the “dragon’s” cave.   With my family and friends supporting me, I felt an overwhelming amount of strength surging through my body. Then I saw the stone plaque which sparked my adrenaline, on it carved 八达岭长城 (Ba Da Ling Great Wall).   Yes, you might have guessed it by now, my dragon is the Great Wall of China, and I will be the first quadriplegic in the world to wheel up it.  The idea was inspired by my hero Rick Hasen, a Paralympian who was also a fellow Canadian that wheeled on the Great Wall of China exactly 30 years ago.  He wheeled around the world in 2 years, 2 months and 2 days, his effort forever changed the lives of people with disabilities, in treatment, care, rehabilitation and outlook on life.  His journey of wheeling on the Great Wall shocked all of China, the world and empowered millions of persons. It is his effort 30 years later that gave me the idea face the dragon.

I was ushered up the newly built wheelchair accessible ramp towards the wall which was built during the 2008 Beijing Olympics.  My friends whispered words of encouragements as we moved closer to my wheelchair entrance.  Before I knew it, we were only 50 meters to my starting point, and 5 min to my battlefield. Millions of butterflies started to fly around in my stomach, thousands of bees start to buzz in my mind… I am getting excited to meet my “dragon”.

I entered the gate with my friends, helped up a 30 degree, unevenly placed stones with big gaps, narrow ramp to the gun tower; popped wheely up one big step to go inside a very narrow arched doorway then backed down one small step to exit the gun tower (these stone doorways width is only about 30 inches); now we had to ask a few strong bystanders to lift me up about 8 stone steps before I am officially on the wall. At last, I am staring into the eyes of the “dragon” and have reached my battlefield.

      

Now I start the preparations to ride the “Dragon”. I had twisted my back due to a fall in 2015, so each uphill push feels like a sharp knife stabbed deep inside my spine.  The same fall had also sprained my wrist.  These injuries had hindered my ability to fully face my dragon but I was stubborn and I took about 30 min to actually strap on real life armors to ensure my victory. A few arm stretches and warm-ups, with butterflies in my stomach ready to explode, I was ready to ride.

 

The Great Wall of China is nothing like how I pictured. It is composed of mostly stairs which is definitely not wheelchair accessible, the short pathway that had no stairs are very difficult to navigate in a wheelchair because it’s much like the scales on a dragon.  The stones on the wall are very worn from millions of visitors every year but the cement holding them together were not, therefore I must pop-a-wheelie with every push.  Good thing I was prepared for such case and brought with me a Freewheel that my friend Dan lend me.  Because the wall was constructed by human power so the path is not evenly built, which I had to compensate by constantly pushing harder on one side just to keep myself balanced and avoid hitting the side of the wall.  Every 100 meters or so, a 1-2 inch “speed bump” was built on the path, which made it very difficult for me to get over, I had to get family and friends to assist me.  And finally, aside from the high altitude, smog and thousands of people simply walk in front of your path, the most difficult challenge I was faced is the incline in the path.  The path I had chosen had an incline ranged from 10 to 20 degrees.  Normally this incline would not be too much of a problem, however, when all of the elements above are combined, this path becomes almost impossible.  Well, there was no time to waste, my adrenaline is pumping and I was ready to ride this “dragon”.

To say the climb was very difficult is an understatement.  I had a very rough start. Due to all the elements mentioned above: I kept pushing myself into the wall due to the uneven surface; I was over spending my energy pushing because of the bumpy cement every few inches in front of me; The rain the night before had made the pathway very slippery.   The only thing that was on my side that day was the temperature, the rain had lowered the temperature to a tolerable degree.  Since I do not sweat from heat as a quadriplegic, it was a blessing to be wheeling the wall in 15 degrees’ weather.    After about 5 mins I realized that I needed to change the strategy because I could not keep this pace much longer.  I reassessed the situation, took a short break to stretch, and started my climb again with renewed energy.  Each push forward used to feel like lifting a 100 pound of weight on an empty stomach, now I push by shifting my weight backward, pop my casters and the freewheel upward to have the wheels over the cement, I use my whole body weight to assist my arms and shoulder to push forward.  This appeared to be working, after shouting encouragement to myself with every push, I found my rhythm, I was once again on my way up the “dragon scales” toward my final destination.

The climb was surprisingly quiet; I guess the bystanders weren’t so sure what I was doing as they have not seen anyone with a disability ever dared to climb a “dragon” before.   “Ah!!! push!!!” I heard myself screaming. Gradually, as people got used to the idea, I heard more cheering’s and positive encouragements uttered.  My boyfriend rushed to my side often to check up on me; enquired if I needed water, to take a break, to remind me to rest. But I was so caught up in the excitement and adrenaline, I pushed on.  I did stop 2 times to pour water on my head because I was overheated as well as one time to stretch my arms.  The goal was within my reach, and I did not want to waste any time to get there.  However, fatigue hit me hard with still 100 more meters to go, but I did not let anyone know. Instead, I started counting each of my pushes out loud.  “1! 2! 3! 3! 4! ….” until I hit 25, I would pause, drinking a sip of water, poured water on my head to cool off and counted my next 25 pushes.  This is much like the techniques I learned from a personal empowerment training that I took at the Pacific Institute.  Achieving success is about making 2 types of goals: long term goals like wheeling on the great wall of China and short term goals like pushing 25 pushes to move ahead.  Counting loudly of my pushes to encourage myself, soon the bystanders had also caught on.  During my last 25 pushes towards my goal, with my father standing and waiting for me at the finish line, everyone was counting with me loudly and clapping to cheer me on.  I suddenly got a surge of energy going through my body and moved me forward with amazing speed.  At the end, I completed my goal, achieved the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in life, faced my “dragon” in 27 minutes, 20 minutes shorter than all of my previous times during training.  I can summarize my experience use one single word— awesome.

Rick Hansen’s wheel around the world in an effort to bring about disability awareness 30 years ago which enabled me to completed my quest to face my “Dragon” today.  I hope my effort will help bring changes in the lives of the current generations of persons with disabilities.  You’ve journeyed with me on my quest to meet my “dragon” and the Great Wall of China, you have experienced with me the triumph, tribulations, heartaches, pain and how to overcome them.  Life is full of little “demons” … in order to succeed, do not give yourself excuses to give up, only give yourself reasons to move forward.  Good luck on achieving your dreams and see you on your next adventure.